Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Crack the Code

I'm in California this week to help my friend, Lea, make the final preparations for her wedding this weekend. In honor of this auspicious occasion, and because this is our last wedding of the season, I have decided to make this "Wedding Week" on the blog. Don't worry if you aren't a bride- or groom-to-be, however -- I'll try to make this week's post applicable to the soon-to-be-hitched, already-wed, and don't-believe-in-the-institution-of-marriage, alike. Today's topic: what to wear almost anywhere.

If you've ever been the gal at the party wearing jeans when everyone else is in a dress, the dork in the jacket and tie at the pool party, or the chick whose 5-inch heels keep sinking in to the dirt at the backyard barbecue, you know the shame and discomfort of being inappropriately dressed for an occasion. Even if you're one of those disdainful-of-fashion-and-propriety types (in which case, what are you doing reading this blog - are you lost or something?), you have to admit that sometimes the right outfit can be a major boost to your confidence and ease, and the wrong one can pretty much ruin your night. All of this is made more complicated by the cryptic and inscrutable dress codes some people choose to assign to their events (what the heck is 'Dressy Casual'?) The only thing worse being when they don't assign one at all and you are left to guess. Happily, my friend and yours, Emily Post, has gone to the trouble of clearly identifying all of the different dress codes that might be ascribed to a party, and outlining precisely what you should wear (and I have taken the liberty of unlawfully copying her work below). I don't agree with everything she says (I tend to think "holiday-themed ties" are a "no" in every circumstance. But first let's address what you should (and should not) wear if no dress code is mentioned.

To A Wedding:
-In the Daytime: Ladies: a short, colorful dress or suit is appropriate. Don't wear black, or flashy sequins or beads. And consider the location; if the wedding is to be outdoors in a garden or on a lawn, you will be happier in flat footwear or wedges than in stilettos. Guys: Dress shirt and pants, with a sports jacket. Tie is optional.
-In the Evening: Ladies: Cocktail dress. Black is fine, white is not. Nothing too flashy or revealing, please. You don't want to draw attention to yourself in a negative way (if you have to ask if it's appropriate, it probably isn't). Guys: Suit or dress pants and jacket. I strongly suggest a tie. Don't wear a tuxedo unless "black tie" is specified.

To A Cocktail Party:
-Outdoors in the Spring or Summer: Ladies: A summery dress and sandals. Guys: Khaki pants and a polo shirt or light cotton dress shirt. Unless you're on Bermuda, stay away from shorts.
-In the Evening in the Fall or Winter: Ladies: A short cocktail dress (duh), with dressy shoes. Guys: A jacket and tie, unless the host or hostess specifically mentions the word "casual".

And Now For the Plagiarized Portion of this Post (Thanks, Emily!):

White Tie
For Men:
Black tailcoat
matching trousers with a single stripe of satin or braid in the US; two stripes in Europe or the UK
white piqué wing-collared shirt with stiff front
white vest
white bow tie
white or gray gloves
black patent shoes and black dress socks

For Women:
Formal (floor length) evening gown

Black Tie

For Men:
Black tuxedo jacket and matching trousers
formal (piqué or pleated front) white shirt
black bow tie (silk, shiny satin or twill)
black cummerbund to match tie, or a vest
dressy suspenders to ensure a good fit
black patent shoes and black dress socks
no gloves.
In summer or on a cruise:
white dinner jacket
black tuxedo trousers plus other black tie wardrobe.

For Women:
Formal (floor length) evening gown or short, dressy cocktail dress

Black Tie Optional

For Men:
Either a tuxedo (see 'Black Tie' above) or dark suit, white shirt and conservative tie

For Women:

Formal (floor length) evening gown or short, dressy cocktail dress or dressy separates

Creative Black Tie

For Men:
Tuxedo combined with trendy or whimsical items, such as a black shirt or a matching colored or patterned bow tie and cummerbund
black shiny patent or dressy black leather shoes and black socks

For Women:
Formal (floor length) evening gown or short, dressy cocktail dress or dressy separates or any of the above accessorized with such items as a feather boa, colorful shawl or colorful jewelry

Semiformal
For Men:
Dark, business suit (usually worsted wool)
matching vest
white shirt
conservative tie
dressy leather shoes and dress (dark)socks

For Women:

Short afternoon or cocktail dress or long dressy skirt and top

Festive Attire
For Men:
Seasonal sport coat or blazer in color of choice and slack
open-collar shirt or shirt and "festive" or holiday-themed tie

For Women:

cocktail dress or long dressy skirt and top or dressy pants outfit

Dressy Casual
For Men:
Seasonal sport coat or blazer and slacks

open-collar shirt

For Women:
Street length dress or skirt and dressy top or dressy pants outfit


Business Casual
For Men:
Seasonal sport coat or blazer with slacks or khakis
open-collar shirt

For Women:
Skirt, khakis or slacks
open-collar shirt, knit shirt or sweater (no spaghetti straps or decolleté)

Sport Casual
For Men:
Khakis or clean, pressed jeans
plain tee shirt (no slogans), polo shirt or casual button-down shirt

For Women:
Khakis or clean, pressed jeans
plain tee shirt (no slogans), polo shirt or casual button-down shirt

Beach Casual
For Men:
Khakis or shorts (cargo or Bermuda)

knit or polo shirt
sport jacket (optional) or sweater

For Women:
Sundress, khakis or shorts (cargo or Bermuda)
open-collar, knit, or polo shirt
lightweight jacket or sweater

Holiday Casual
Clothing is the same as for 'Business Casual' with some holiday colors or designs.

1 comment:

Gecko said...

So sorry to miss these festivities but glad to keep up with them on A Charmed Wife!