Mise, Please

In the past few years as a housewife, I think I have grown to become a pretty competent little home cook. I can chop like a champ, whip like a whiz, and  puree like a pro. The one thing that took the longest to master, though, and that I still mess up every now and then, is timing everything so that it all is finished at the same time. Inevitably, the salmon sits out getting cold or, worse, overcooked, while I wait for the potatoes to bake through.
One strategy I have learned to combat this, is using the technique of mise en place. "Mise en place" is french for "put in place" and refers to "having all the ingredients necessary for a dish prepared and ready to combine up to the point of cooking" (thanks, Epicurious). Like in a cooking show, when the host has everything all chopped and measured in little bowls in front of them, and all they have to do is throw them together. Haven't you always wished you could cook like that? Well, you can!

When you are cooking dinner, even just for yourself, don't just flip on the stove and dive right in. Slow down, take stock of what you'll need, and get everything organized in front of you, so it's all easily reached and ready to go at just the right moment. Dice the herbs, slice the veggies, and measure all the spices into a bowl. Because I work from home, sometimes I will chop the onions or slice the carrots in the middle of the day, and cover and set them aside for dinner. If you invest in a set of small dishes, like these  Pyrex containers with lids, $14, from Amazon.com, you can take things right from the fridge to the stove. You can even lay out the pots and pans you will be using. It may seem like this will produce an unnecessary number of extra dishes, but if you are smart, and combine ingredients that can be added at the same time, and reuse bowls, you'll be surprised at how much work it saves you in the long run. I keep a small bowl of chopped parsley in my fridge at all times- I pull it out and use it over the course of a week, saving myself precious herb-chopping time every week.

You'll be amazed at how much more fun cooking is when you aren't scrambling to mince the garlic before the sauce burns on the stove- you will truly feel like the star of your own cooking show. It's up to you whether you want to narrate your actions into an imaginary camera as you go, like I do. Bam!


Top photo: Ranger Mike Designs

Rock the Votive (with Guest Blogger Lea)

Out of the blue this week, I got an email from my childhood friend, Lea (who you might remember from this post or this post), with a pretty great blog post that she just whipped up 'cause she felt like it. I have been busybusybusy (so what else is new?) and this little unexpected surprise arrived in the nick of time. Plus, we're only a couple weeks away from Valentine's Day, and who couldn't use a little cheap, romantic candlelight in their lives? So bust out those gross, burnt, waxy, old glass votive candle holders you were going to throw away (or pick some used ones up for next-to-nothing at a thrift shop- they look great mixed and matched en masse), and give them a new lease on light (see what I did there?) PLUS: check in tomorrow to see a few unexpected uses Lea has found for her votives (including one brilliant craft project I wish I'd thought of).  It'll be all the candle you can handle.  Thanks, Lea!

 Every year, before the holidays, starting from when I was a child, I have made it my job to clean all of the votive candle holders in the house and get them looking fresh and new and ready for the season. I've always liked this job because it's a big mess/project/production and I get to experiment with different ways to remove candle wax. And when I was finished I loved the atmosphere that candles brought to the house.

I tried many different approaches: Melting off the wax in hot water on the stove (what a mess...), putting the candle holders in the freezer and then picking off the wax (works OK for big pieces of wax but does not leave a clean look), scraping the wax off with a butter knife or fingernails (ouch!) or razor blades, or using hot water from the faucet to soften the wax. All of these approaches were difficult, time consuming, and always left me with a terrible waxy mess to clean up afterward.

 I was married a little over a year ago and I wanted to have a candlelit dinner as part of the celebration. Lil (a.k.a A Charmed Wife)'s mom had 50+ glass votives left over from Lil's brother's wedding that she said I could have. I was up for the challenge of cleaning them, but I knew I needed a better method.

What I came up with put all of my previous years of work to shame! It is very simple and effective (at least for glass votives) and best of all... it leaves no mess! Here's what you do.

Step 1: Put the oven on VERY low (100 to 150 degrees F) because you don't want an oven fire, and place all of your votives on an old baking sheet. (note: I did once cause an oven fire in my mother's oven when I was trying to make new candles from old ones and beeswax crayons... The oven was on WAY to high but luckily there was a fire extinguisher nearby... what a mess... sorry mom, you were so patient with me, I love you).

Step 2: Once they are warm and you can see some melted wax, remove only one of the votives from the oven with an old oven mitt or pot-holder (take care not to burn yourself) and pour the melted wax into an open paper bag that you have already set in the trash. 

Step 3: Next use paper towels or cut up old t-shirts or paper napkins (I hold on to unused takeout napkins and keep them in a drawer -just like my mother does- so I can use them for dirty jobs such as this) to wipe away the left over wax and any soot or dirt and !VOILA! you are done!

4) Repeat for all of your votives, throwing away your wiper into your paper bag when it gets to much wax on it. If any wax got on your baking sheet you can also just wipe it of:) Don't forget to turn off the oven, something I always need to remind myself to do, or else my husband reminds me with a worried look in his eye.

5) After this process, your votives will be very clean and ready for new candles. If you want them extra sparkly or if you want to repurpose them (check in tomorrow for some novel ideas), just wash them like dishes.  I hope this gives you a motive for cleaning your votives!

Rubber Match

In case you have been in a coma, or had your arm stuck in between two boulders since September (welcome back, by the way!), or something, you probably have noticed that this has been a pretty crumby winter in New York City, weather-wise. It's been really snowy and cold and slushy and mucky and generally awful. Which usually I don't mind, because it gives me a good excuse not to wear heels when I leave the house (almost never), and to instead wear my black rubber Hunter wellington boots.  I happen to love these boots because, whenever I put them on, they make me feel like the lady of an English manor going out to oversee the grooming of my horses, even when I'm really just going to CVS to buy toilet paper.
However, lately, my charming ladylike rubber boots have started to look a little worse for wear, what with the mud caked on them, and the water spots, and the rubber "blooming" some weird white powder at the seams. I still feel like I'm in an English manor when I wear them, but now I'm more like the disheveled old squatter who mucks out the rabbit cages.
So, I started to wonder about cleaning my boots. What, pray tell, I asked myself, shall I use to spiff up my wellies? (obviously, I was speaking in a British accent when I said this).

AND THEN inspiration hit me like a ton of rabbit pellets in the face- what else is made out of rubber and gets mucky and muddy and needs to be cleaned? That's right- tires! I hopped right out and bought some Mothers Tire Shine (That's just what they had at my store- I am sure other brands, like Armorall, would work just as well). Spray the polish onto a clean soft rag and rub it into the boots. Let them sit for 10 minutes, and then use a dry part of the towel to buff them to a bright shine. You'll be back to feeling like your royal self again, in no time, your ladyship.

Sweater Weather

I grew up in California, and, in case you were wondering, what the Beach Boys and Katy Perry have told you is true about us California girls.  I was tan and wore flip-flops, shorts and bikinis all year. There was nary a boot, turtleneck, or scarf to be found within 100 miles of my closet. So, needless to say, when I moved to Boston for college, I was more than a little out to lunch and wildly unprepared for winter. Suffice it to say, I brought twelve sarongs with me, and zero coats.
The first day it really got cold that fall, I had to wear all of my clothes at once in order to keep from freezing on my way to the dining hall. Over the course of that year, I picked up a thing or two in the classroom, but what I mostly acquired was a collection of sweaters, which the intervening years of my east-coast residence have only served to multiply. And, strangely, I have come to love sweaters. The problem with sweaters, though, is, unlike sarongs, you can't just throw them in the laundry. And, if you, um, glow like I do when the radiator kicks on, dry cleaning can get rather pricey. Luckily, after years of trial and error, I discovered a method for washing my wool and cashmere sweaters at home, which leaves them cleaner, fresher, and softer than dry cleaning.  Which is good, because I now pretty much wear a daily uniform of jeans and cute sweater from October until May. The rest of the time, I'm back in shorts and flip-flops. After all, you can take the girl out of California...

 Step 1: Fill your sink with hot or warm (you heard me!) water and a squirt of Dawn, or another gentle dishwashing liquid, and carefully place your sweater in it. Contrary to popular belief, hot water is not damaging to wool, but regular laundry detergent (even Woolite) and agitation ARE. So avoid the urge to swish or agitate the water once you have put the sweater in, and just let it soak until spots are dissolved. 

 Step 2: If your washing machine has a Delicates setting for "Rinse" and "Spin", you can move your sweater into the washer and use those two cycles to, well, rinse and spin it. If your washer doesn't do that, gently drain the soapy water in your sink, and refill the sink with warm water a few times until the sweater is rinsed. Then, carefully transfer the sweater to a dry towel and roll the towel until the sweater is just damp.

Step 3: Transfer the sweater to a dry towel, and lay it out flat, in the shape the sweater will be worn. Allow sweater to dry completely before folding and putting it away.  See- no sweat!

Hic Town

One of my college roommates/besties just had a baby girl named Kyla, who is maybe the cutest thing going in the under-two-week set. While I was over there gaping and marveling at her teeny little fingernails and eyelashes, she did something amazing. (No, she didn't talk. Seriously, get real). She hiccuped. And her mom (weird, my friend is a mom) said that she has had hiccups a lot (I mean, a lot for an 8-day old), and that the doctor said that some people are just more prone to them than others. And when I heard that, my affection and sense of loyalty to this little squirmer - which were already pretty high for someone I just met - shot off the charts, because suddenly I knew that she and I had something in common (I mean, in addition to our favorite hobbies- sleeping and eating). Because, I am ALSO a hiccup-afflicted individual! And before you wiseacres pipe in, it's not just because I drink a lot of beer, so shut it- I've been hiccuping abnormally oftenly since I was but a tiny tot myself. In fact, my mom says I got them moments after I emerged from the womb, although I can't verify that information myself, because I don't remember that day very clearly. I was probably too distracted by the hiccups to take much notice of anything.

Anyway, all of this is to say that over the intervening years, I have become a bit of an expert on the hiccups- what they are, why they happen, and how to get rid of them, as I suspect my friend's poor baby will have to do, as well, as a fellow sufferer, once she is no longer a baby. So, as a gift to this wee human (who needs another bib?), I decided to put down the veritable hiccup encyclopedia that I have in my brain for posterity.  I give you:

Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About the Hiccups if You Are a Baby or Adult Who Gets Hiccups A Lot



What Are Hiccups?
Hiccups, or hiccoughs, if you like to spell things the pretentious way, are involuntary spasms of the diaphragm or esophagus caused by a reflex triggered by the vagus nerve. You don't really need to know that, except if you are ever on a game show, and they ask you that specific question (if that happens, you should probably send me some of the money you win- it's only fair). Also, it's good to understand that for when I reference the vagus nerve in a pun the next paragraph.


What Causes Them?

There are many ways of overstimulating or irritating the vagus nerve, triggering hiccups. You can do it by eating too fast, or too much, or spicy foods, by swallowing air, taking some medications, laughing a lot, or drinking alcohol or carbonated beverages- pretty much anything fun). In other words, what happens in vagus does not stay in vagus. (That joke was so worth it). So, theoretically, you could try to avoid getting the hiccups by eating small, bland meals very slowly, accompanied by flat, non-alcoholic beverages for the rest of your life. Or you can just find yourself a sure-fire, never-fail, hiccup cure, and be happy. Here's what works for me.


How to Cure Hiccups
The way to cure hiccups is to essentially "reset" the vagus nerve by stimulating it in another way. Here are some methods that work:

1. Hold Your Breath: Interrupting your breathing patterns typically will end your hiccups. The best way I've found is to take in a deep breath and hold it as long as you can, while swallowing a few times. Hold your breath until you turn red in the face, and then a few seconds after that.



2. Drink Water Upside-Down: This is the cure that works the most consistently for me. Unfortunately, it also is the most ridiculous-looking one. Fill a glass of water to the brim, plant your feet a few feet apart, bend at the waist, and drink from the wrong side of the glass.


3. Sugar Overload- Put a tablespoon of sugar or a sugar cube in your mouth and let it dissolve on your tongue. The extreme sweetness will jar your nerves.


4. Pull On Your Tongue- No idea why this works, but it does- stick out your tongue, grab it with your fingers, and pull it outward for a few seconds.


5. Get Tickled- Seriously, if the thought doesn't make you super uncomfortable, ask someone to tickle you- it will make the hiccups disappear. Personally, I'd rather drink water upside-down.


6. Take an Antacid- Antacids containing magnesium (Rolaids, Milk of Magnesia) can help calm the nerves, almost instantly. 



"Cures" That Aren't Worth It
Sadly, because everyone and their mom has a favorite hiccups cure, there are a lot of terrible ones floating around out there. These ones might work, but just don't seem worth the effort, really. 


1. Drink Vinegar- Um, gross. Also, all that acid can't be good for your teeth.

2. Get Scared- Seriously, have you ever seen this work? There's nothing scary about your friend saying "boo" when you're expecting it.

3. Stand On Your Head: Oh, for Pete's sake. What's more inconvenient- finding a place to safely stand on your head without flashing the other bar patrons, or having the hiccups for a few minutes? (Kyla, honey, Aunt Lily will explain what "flashing" and "bars" are when you're a little older).

One final note: if your hiccups last longer than a couple hours, or are impeding your ability to eat or sleep, stop reading blogs, and go see a medical professional.

Friday Styles: A New Spin On Things

There aren't many things in life that I like as much now as I did when I was twelve. For instance, I no longer listen to the Backstreet Boys on repeat, I don't have a crush on any of my older brother's friends (unless you consider my husband his friend), I doubt I would watch TRL, Dawson's Creek or Party of Five, anymore, even if they were still on the air, and I've finally accepted that I am not someone who should have bangs. But if I had to hang out with my twelve-year-old self for an afternoon, I know exactly what we could do that we would both enjoy: a drug store shopping spree. Ever since I started getting an allowance, I have taken a tremendous, unexplainable pleasure in shopping at the pharmacy. I love the cosmetics aisle, I love the non-perishable food aisle (pretzel buckets!), I love the home-improvement section, the greeting cards and magazines, the school supplies... I could honestly spend hours browsing the aisles of the drug store. And, while I occasionally have rung up some whopper bills, I usually escape for under $30- try to have that much fun for $30 at the mall!  I couldn't even take my tweener alter-ego to see the Justin Bieber movie for that.
One of my favorite things about the drug store is how often to find something wonderful that you didn't know you needed, nay, didn't even know existed, until you spot it on the shelf. On a recent cold Sunday, I ducked into my local Duane Reade to pick up some necessity I had run out of, and found myself in that familiar happy place, wandering up the aisles checking out mustache trimmers and denture cream (neither of which I needed, thank you very much). I landed in the hair-care section, and that is when I discovered something that has become one of my favorite new products- the Goody Spin Pin, $5.99 for 2, from Amazon.com, or most major drug stores). I am (obviously) a sucker for anything that promises to make my life easier, and I was actually amazed at how well these things work (Goody claims they take the place of 20 bobby pins, and I believe it). All you do is form your hair into a knot or bun and twist the pins in, and miraculously they hold it. I have thick slippery hair that's cut in multiple layers and, if they work for me, they would work for anybody.  I feel like these are one of those things, like the Internet, or cell phones, or running water, that once you have, it would be hard to go back to your life before them. Which is why I would buy several sets for Preteen Lily.

Unfortunately, as miraculous as these things are, though, there isn't anything they can do about those terrible bangs.

Picture This

JM and I have lived in our "new" apartment for almost two and half years, now. In that time, I've painted every room, put up wallpaper and wood paneling, refinished the floors, and arranged and rearranged the furniture in every room at least twenty times. But, for some reason, we had not hung up hardly any of our artwork. We simply couldn't commit or agree on what should go where, so instead we left all our paintings and prints stacked in a corner of our kitchen, cluttering up our house as their frames got dinged and our walls stayed bare. It was madness, I tell you, madness. Finally, last weekend, we came to our collective senses, and decided that hanging artwork anywhere, even if it wasn't the perfectly right place, was better than the status quo of no artwork, nowhere.

One thing we agreed on was that our tiny guest room/office needed a serious artsy pick-me-up. But the room is so narrow, we were concerned that hanging anything on the main sidewalls would make it feel claustrophobic in there. The solution? Lots of pieces arranged on the smaller walls, all the way to the high ceiling (to emphasize the air up there).

Whenever you are hanging a bunch of artwork on one wall, it's important to play around with the arrangement to make sure it all fits together, and the proportions work in the space. A good way to do this, without committing to hammer and nail, is to cut out paper sheets the same size as each of your pieces of art. (We used newspaper, which works well, because it's readily available, free, and comes in big sheets. But if you go this route keep in mind you may have to Mr. Clean Magic Eraser some ink smudges off your walls when your done).  Make sure to label each paper with which piece it represents, and which way is "up"). Then, use masking or painter's tape (so your walls won't be damaged) to play around and arrange the paper pieces on your wall, until you are happy with the way they look and fit together.

Measure the length from the top of the frames to the hanging wires, and mark the distance on each sheet. Then you can simple hammer the hanging hook (I like this kind, $5.70 for 50 pieces, from Amazon.com) right through the paper, for perfect placement. Rip the paper away, throw the art up on the hooks, and voila! - perfectly spaced art. So much easier than rearranging the furniture.

Apple Appeal

So, am I predictable, or what? Here it is, the first day of December, and I'm on the blog with a sweet bread recipe. Just like last fall, and the fall before that. I can't help it: I am an entirely unsurprising human- I've had the same haircut and used the same makeup for eight years, I'll watch every Real Housewives Bravo can throw at us, I like exactly the same movies Roger Ebert does, and you could set your watch by my seasonal cravings. What were you expecting: a sorbet recipe? And this kind of bread is perfect for this time of year- it's easy to make, makes your kitchen smell amazing, works as both a breakfast pastry and simple dessert during the entertaining season, and travels well as a gift.  I bake up a bunch of loaves at once, wrap them up attractively, and bring them to holiday parties as a welcome alternative to another bottle of wine (not that I would turn down a bottle of wine, ever).
Anyway, I sort of improvised this recipe to make it a little spicy and flavorful, and I was pleasantly surprised by how well it turned out. So, see? It seems predictable ol' Lil has a few tricks up her sleeve after all.

You Will Need:
3 cups flour
1 1/2 tsp. baking soda
1 1/2 tsp. cinnamon
1/4 tsp. nutmeg
1/4 tsp. ground cloves
1 tsp. salt
3 eggs
1 cup very soft or melted butter
2 cups sugar
1 1/2 tsp. vanilla extract
3 cups peeled and chopped apples (about 4-5 apples, any variety)
1 cup chopped walnuts (optional)

Step 1: Preheat the oven to 325, and grease two loaf pans and set aside. In a medium mixing bowl, place the flour, baking soda, spices, and salt, and whisk to combine.

 Step 2: Peel the apples, and chop finely, and set aside. A combination of whatever varieties you have floating around in your fruit bowl will yield a more complex flavor. I used Galas and Granny Smiths.








 Step 3: In a large mixing bowl, combine the eggs, butter, sugar, and vanilla, and whisk to combine. Slowly add the dry mixture to the wet mixture, and stir well to make sure all is well combined. Then, fold in the apples and walnuts. Divide batter evenly between two greased pans, and bake for about 75 minutes (or until a toothpick can be poked into the center and comes out clean- you know the drill). Cool for 15-20 minutes on a rack before inverting pans.

Step 4: Wrap cooled loaves tightly in foil, and store at room temperature. They will keep for up to 4 days... not that you will be able to resist eating them long before that. Predictably delicious.

The End of Static (and Stasis)

I know I've been gone for a while, lovers. Have you missed me as much as I've missed you?  I've been making excuses about being really busy lately, but, truthfully, I've always been busy, and somehow managed to pump out some marginally interesting posts on a fairly regular basis, anyway. So, now the real truth can be told - I've been taking a little bit of a mental break from the blog because I was suffering from a wicked case of writer's block. That fickle wench Creative Inspiration disappeared, leaving me alone and bereft staring at a blank computer screen. So I buried myself in other projects (so much to tell you about!) and let the old blogerooni simmer for a while, and finally my blogging mojo seems to have sidled it's way back to me. So consider this a bit of a renaissance, if you will.

Now, after that dramatic and confessional intro, you might be expecting a real doozy of a post, that will revolutionize bathroom cleaning, or something, and change your perspective and the whole way you think about things and stuff. That's not going to happen. We're going to start the renaissance with just a little tip- a tiplet, if you will - and ease our way back in. After all, we don't want to scare the muses away, again. So, to thank you for sticking with me, and to apologize for all those times you checked in only to see that "Move It" post was still up, for, like, the the twenty-seventh day in a row, I am going to solve one of life's little annoyances- static cling in your clothes- here and now. Maybe you already know these tips, and this will be super-anti-climactic after weeks of waiting for my (triumphant?) return, but, hey, at least you got a new picture to look at.


How to Get Rid of Static Cling

You know how sometimes, as you go through your work day, your clothes seem to take on a life of their own, and be drawn like magnets to each other and your body? And then your hair starts sort of sticking up on end, and you get that unpleasant electrical-charge feeling all over your body (this especially tends to happen when you are wearing tights or clothes made out of synthetic material)? If you don't know what I'm talking about, congratulations on avoiding this common problem, but you should probably go to a doctor to get checked out because there's a good chance you are an alien.

There are three no-fail methods that will cure you of the cling:

Method #1: Dryer Sheets
Not to put in your dryer, silly (although that might help with the cling, it also leaves a residue on all your clothes and prevents your towels from absorbing as much). Instead, keep a box of dryer sheets handy in your desk at work (or one or two in a Ziplock in your purse), and if the cling attacks, simply rub one of the sheets over your clothes and hair. I don't know why, but it works. I'm pretty sure this is one of those mysteries that science hasn't figured out yet, like what's smaller than a quark or the Loch Ness Monster (that was poorly phrased- most things are smaller than the Loch Ness Monster, probably, but you know what I mean).

 Method #2: Hand Lotion
If you don't happen to have a dryer sheet handy, there's a decent chance you'll at least be able to find some hand lotion. Pour a tiny bit into your hand and work it into your skin underneath where the clothes are clinging. Be very careful not to get it on your clothes in the process, as lotion will leave greasy marks on some fabrics. But for some reason, the lotion will kill the static, and your clothes will start to behave again. Once you have rubbed in all the lotion, gently run your hands over your hair to tame the wildness without looking like you haven't showered in a few days.

Method #3: Hairspray
In a real pinch, you can spray hairspray on your legs or skin to keep the clothes from clinging. But what's worse- static cling, or hairspray on your skin?



photo credit: via jbcurio on flickr

I Like To Move It, Move It

To answer your question ("Where ARE you?"), I'm back in California this week. The purpose of this trip is multi-fold: I'm visiting my parents before the holidays (as we will be spending both Thanksgiving and Christmas with JM's family this year), I attended a family milestone birthday party, I'm checking up on my baby brother-in-law who recently moved to L.A., and I'm running a half-marathon on Saturday. Here's the thing: Whenever I'm out here, I am struck by how active my days are. And without my even trying (half-marathon aside, of course)! It seems like all the fun things I do- swimming in the pool, going to the beach, playing croquet, volleyball or Frisbee (if you can, in fact, call my efforts "playing Frisbee"- I might be the only person in the universe incapable of putting spin on a Frisbee), hiking, yoga, chasing after my friend's baby- are all inherently active and athletic pursuits. In fact, the only thing I do that isn't exercise is sun-bathing, and even then, I break a serious sweat. It's like the exercise just happens without my even thinking about it.
Which, now that I think about it, is probably why my parents, who are senior citizens, actually look more like seniors in college (okay, that may be a slight exaggeration, but you get the idea). It seems like instead of allocating an hour at the gym every day, you can achieve similar, or better, health results just by keeping moving all the time. So my new motto for life (I have a few of them), is "Just Keep Moving".
Here are just a few healthy habits for things you can do in your real life to keep your body in shape, without setting foot in a gym. Admittedly, these aren't as much fun as beach volleyball, but they sure beat the treadmill.


-Walk It: Instead of taking the car, walk your errands (or even better, run them). Carry your laundry to the cleaners and pick up your dinner as take-out, instead of having it delivered. Take the stairs instead of the elevator (or better yet, move into a 5th-floor walk-up, like us). If you have to drive, park on the far side of the parking lot and walk across, like my dad does.

-Bike It: Put the new bike lanes in New York City to use, and bike to work and around the city. Just please wear a helmet- if the pedaling doesn't get your heart pounding, near accidents with taxis certainly will. It's just like Spinning class, but without that hamster-on-a-wheel feeling.

-Carry It: Instead of getting a cart at the grocery store, grab a basket. You'll work your biceps carrying it around, and you'll be less likely to buy junk you don't need. And while you're at it, bring your own bags to the store and carry your groceries home yourself (this is especially good exercise if you live in a walk-up, see?)

-Build It: Earlier this week, I assembled my parents' new grill. At one point, I was in a crunch position for about ten minutes attaching two parts, and I realized that even that is pretty decent exercise. So next time you make a run to Ikea, load the car and assemble it yourself. And since you'll have to deal with sorting out all those screws and washers and deciphering those directions, this one will be a good exercise for your brain, too.

-Fix It: Anyone who has ever tried to move a toilet, or held a 50-lb lighting fixture while someone else screwed it in to the ceiling, knows that DIY is as good for your bod as it is for your house. And it's so rewarding!

-Clean It: Next time you have to clean your place, put on your workout gear and some pump-up tunes (I recommend Sean Paul), and treat it like it's exercise. It'll be a better workout than a jazzercise tape, and you'll get so much more done.

-Grow It: If you have the space (and green thumb) for it, start a garden. Shoveling, weeding, mowing, hoeing, mulching and watering are all great exercise, and you'll have pretty flowers or tasty veggies to show for it (in addition to your rock-hard abs).

Here's hoping this moves you!

Chard-er Club: White Bean and Chard Soup

Every year, right around this time, I get the uncontrollable urge to make huge batches of soup. Just like the squirrels somehow know that it's time to store up their acorns, and the leaves somehow know to change color (don't try to enlighten me with real science on this topic- you'll waste your breath), I know that I cannot rest until our fridge is crammed full of soup. It's pure instinct- like "fight or flight" (only it's more like "bisque or borscht"). This year, my soup compulsion happened to coincide with the arrival from our organic produce delivery service of a huge bunch of chard. After trolling the Internet for chard soups, I combined elements from a few recipes to create my own delicious Frankenstein monster of a soup recipe with not just chard, but cannellini beans, bacon, pastina, and sage (so, basically all of my favorite things). You'd be hard-pressed to find an easier or quicker recipe (and still be able to call it "cooking"), and it will satisfy all of your soup-making urges. Best of all, this soup is hearty enough to be a whole dinner- just serve with a salad or a crusty roll. Or dinner every night for a week, as JM and I have. My instincts tell me you're going to love it.

You Will Need:
2 white or yellow onions, diced
3 cloves garlic, minced
3 slices smoked bacon (thick-cut, if possible)
12 leaves fresh sage, minced
1 handful fresh parsley, minced (optional)  1/2 teaspoon dried red pepper flakes
1/2 teaspoon grated nutmeg
2 cans cannellini beans, rinsed
10 cups low-sodium chicken broth
2 bunches chard (or spinach or other greens will do in a pinch), washed and dried
1/2 cup dried pastina or orzo

freshly grated Parmesan cheese, for serving

What You Do:

Step 1: Finely chop the onions and bacon into no larger than 1/4-inch cubes. Finely mince the garlic.

Step 2: Put onions, garlic, bacon, sage, parsley, nutmeg and pepper flakes into a large saucepan over medium heat and cook, stirring occasionally, until onions are softened, and bacon is mostly cooked, about 5 minutes.

Step 3: Add beans and broth, increase heat to high, and bring to a boil. When soup boils, add pasta and reduce heat to medium-low, and simmer for about 5 minutes.

Step 4: Meanwhile, prepare the chard. Remove the woody stems, and chop the leaves into 1-inch squares.

Step 5: Add the chard to the pot, stir and simmer until wilted, about 4 minutes.

Step 6: Dish soup into bowls, and top with Parmesan. Enjoy!

Asparagus Tips

Get it? Because asparagus spears have tips and I am going to give you tips about asparagus. See what I did there?

Now, let me ask you this: Is there anything better than asparagus? Pungent urine notwithstanding, there is something so wonderful and fresh about this lovely veg. And it tastes so good with everything- you can throw it in a salad, an omelet or pasta, and it's obviously a great side, too. Technically it's in season in the spring, but it's widely available all year, which is good since we eat it at least once a week.

However, to really enjoy this awesomeness, you've got to know a little bit about how to choose and prepare it. Here are some tips for how to enjoy your asparagus to the fullest.

1. Look for straight, bright, crisp green stalks without any wilting, brown spots or wrinkling. Look for tips that are tightly formed, and dark green or purplish, with no soft or liquidy spots. If you still can't tell, take a whiff- it definitely shouldn't smell gross (or really much at all). Try to buy bunches with stalks that are roughly the same thickness- that way they will cook uniformly.

2. When you get the asparagus home, slightly trim the ends, and place upright in a stable container with an inch of water at the bottom (like  bouquet of flowers), and keep in the fridge until you are ready to use. I swear it will stay fresher longer this way!

3. To avoid cooking the woody stems, use this tip: Instead of cutting off the ends, hold the stalk of asparagus at both ends, and exert gentle pressure to snap the stock.  It will naturally break exactly where the tough internal fibers give way, leaving you with just the most delicious tender part.

4. Asparagus is delicious steamed or grilled, but my favorite thing to do is boil it (you'll know it's done when the stalks turn a uniformly grass-green color and you can insert a fork into the stalk without difficulty). Top with a little butter, parsley, and fresh grated lemon rind.  You won't want to eat anything else ever again.

Selling Power

Earlier this week, I dropped my phone, shattering the display glass (prompting my ever-so-tactful husband to sigh and say, "maybe you just shouldn't own fragile things"). After I shot him a steely glare of fury, I decided that instead of paying someone to repair the phone, I would do it myself (in my typical, frugal, DIY way) using a kit I got off the Internet, and instructions via Youtube. I have a good sense of the mechanical, and better-than-average fix-it skills, and the nerds in the video made the repair process look like a breeze, so I really thought I had it in the bag.  But as I was trying to pry the little fragments of broken glass off the phone, I heard an ominous crunch from inside the phone, which portended what I already knew to be true- I had made a bad situation much, much worse.  All of this is to say that I had an unexpected major expense this week in the form of a new cell phone.

In order to offset the cost, and for a fun little goal for myself, I decided I should try to recoup my loss by selling stuff from around the house. Drawing inspiration and advice from my friend Rachel, who has sold more stuff than Ron Popeil, I got out my digital camera, and set to work. Here are the best ways to sell your stuff- even the junk you think is worthless- to easily get some quick cash. Remember, one girl's trash is another girl's brand new iPhone 4. Or something like that.

EBay: I have long been an eBay buyer, but I recently took my first foray into selling. Almost anything you want to sell, you can find a buyer for on eBay. I mostly have sold clothes- anything brand name in good condition will fetch you at least a few bucks- just take flattering photos of the article on a hanger against a white background. Be honest about any flaws, and start the bidding low. I suggest listing a bunch of things all at once- people who like one of your items might check out the others, and you'll save yourself a bunch of trips to the post office when you ship them.


Craig's List: If you live in a fairly metropolitan area, you should list your items on your local Craig's List. I have used Craig's List to sell old furniture and household goods. Again, nice pictures that show the item in a flattering light are a must. Check to see what the going rate is for similar items, and undercut it by a few dollars, and feel free to haggle with buyers. The benefit of this selling method is that the buyer will pick up the item from you (no shipping!), but to be safe, you should meet them at a well-lit, crowded spot, like the coffee shop on your corner. If you are selling something large like a piece of furniture and must let the buyer in your home, make sure there is someone else there at the time- the world is full of freaky people, and one of them might show up at your door under the guise of buying your old boombox.


Gazelle.com: If you have old computers, cell phones, iPods, video games, PDAs or other electronics lying around, Gazelle.com wants to buy them from you. They will even send you secure prepaid packaging in which to return it to them, so you don't even have to worry about postage. I sold them an old laptop that was totally dead and a Palm Pilot that I had in the 90s, and they actually gave me money for them. Ironically, they even bought the cell phone I trashed. 


Second Spin: You know how all of your music is on your computer now? But you still have stacks and stacks of old CDs lying around taking up space, don't you? Second Spin will buy your used CDs and DVDs for a decent price. So you can clear out those drawers or shelves of all those ugly plastic cases (and put money there instead).


At Last Resort:  If you have stuff you can't sell, but is still redeemable (i.e. a whole bag of gently-worn Old Navy tank tops), there's still one thing you can do- give it away. Take it to a non-profit thrift shop (try Housing Works in NYC, or the Salvation Army nationwide) and get a receipt so you can deduct the donation from your taxes. It won't technically make you money, but it might save you a bit come April. Plus, it might actually help someone else out, too.

If you have never tried selling things, you'll be amazed at how fun, and oddly addictive, it is. Give it a try- I foresee your closets getting less cramped, and your wallets getting more so.

Squash Your Fears

 One of the best things about fall is that, as the nights get cooler, a whole new world of delicious comfort foods, too heavy and warming for summer, opens up. And one of my personal faves of these foods is squash. Now, I know that some of you would put squash lower than "termite sandwich" on your Things I Want to Eat list, but I would argue that it's because you haven't given squash a fair shake. I mean, remember when I told you about Brussels sprouts, and you were like "Ewww", and then I was all, "Try them!" and you did and you were, like "OMG, yum!"? That was a great time. Let's do that again.
Squash, when properly prepared, has a delicious creamy texture, and a wonderful sweet flavor- like pumpkin pie, but you don't have to wait for dessert! It is also rich in vitamins A, C, and B6, as well as folate, fiber, potassium, beta-carotene, iron, and cancer-preventing phytonutrients- it's pretty much up there with the healthiest foods you can eat (which is good, because it sort of makes up for preparing it with butter and brown sugar, if you want to). Also, squashes are everywhere this time of year, and are typically pretty inexpensive, so they make a readily available and easily-prepared main dish (try filling the cavity with quinoa) or a side that tastes amazing with fish, chicken, turkey, shrimp...pretty much anything. My favorites are butternut (see the middle squash in the photo above), and acorn (the front squash, above), but you should also try spaghetti, kabocha, and ambercup squashes when you see them (click here for a list of squashes).

Here is my super-easy, fool-proof, delicious squash recipe. Try it- I guarantee you will love it.
And if you don't, I'll buy you a termite sandwich.


What you Do:

1. Preheat the oven to 375. Cut the squash in half, lengthwise, using a large sharp knife (don't try this with a little steak knife- you'll slip and cut yourself, and I don't want your blood on my hands). Scoop out the seeds and stringy squash gunk with a spoon, and discard.
2.  Place the squash halves, face up, on an aluminum-foil-lined rimmed baking pan. Spread each half with 1 tbsp butter (or olive oil), and a dash of cinnamon, salt, pepper, and drizzle with 1/2 cup orange juice (bottled is fine). Sprinkle on 1 tbsp of brown sugar or maple syrup, if desired.
3. Place squash in the oven, and bake for 1 hour, or until the meat of the squash is tender and soft.
4.Enjoy while you think about how right I always am.

photo credit: For the Love of Cooking Blog

Travel Tip #008: Red Car(pet) Treatment

JM and I don't own a car, so between destination weddings, weekend trips to Boston, random Ikea pilgrimages, and all our other travels, we end up renting a lot of cars. This used to be my least favorite part of traveling- the whole process of getting off a plane, taking a shuttle, waiting in line, filling out the paperwork, and then having to walk around the car looking for dents... it just really got my goat.  One time, after a long-delayed flight to Denver, we arrived at 1 am at the rental car desk to find a line of twenty people, with just one person working behind the desk, and I almost burst into tears. We didn't get out of there until almost two hours later, and thereafter I had an almost sickening dread of the whole car-renting enterprise (no pun intended).

But then, something wonderful happened! JM and I found out about the premier memberships at car rental places, and signed up for them, our lives changed for the better, and we lived happily ever after. The End.

Premier memberships at rental car agencies allow you to skip the line, go straight to your car and drive out. They also make you first in line for upgrades and other perks. Basically, they eliminate all of the unpleasant parts of renting a car, and make you feel like a VIP (even if it is just at the rental car parking lot).  But, best of all, if you are a little wily, you can get them for free. Shut up, right? But I won't shut up because it's true.  Like you, I always thought that you had to pay for those perks, but it turns out paying is for suckers - the agencies waive those fees for a wide variety of reasons, and some of them may even apply to you (and even if they don't, you can pretend they do). Here's how to sign up for some of the major rental companies premium service totally gratis.   You don't have to thank me- just wave at me as we both zip past the line and out of the parking lot.

The below programs are always free, for everybody. I think the only reason everyone isn't already signed up is because they seem exclusive. Don't be fooled and let the sheep stand in line. One caveat- you will have to enter your credit card information to sign up (and be sure to read the fine print, as with any offer).

Avis Preferred
Alamo Quicksilver
Budget Fastbreak
Dollar Express
Thrifty Blue Chip

Hertz #1 Gold: Hertz offers free Gold membership to American Express cardholders, US Airways frequent fliers, and many others (otherwise there is a $60 annual fee). You can check all the associations to which you belong, to see if you qualify, or you can just use this link, enter
Program Name: US Airways Preferred
Promotion Code: 6173
and be on your way.

A few more tips:
-Try to concentrate rentals on one or two agencies you use the most (we use Hertz and Avis), so you accrue points and free rentals.
-Lots of companies and associations offer discounts at rental agencies, so if you belong to AAA, USAA, AARP, etc. or you work at a large company, make sure to enter that info or mention it at the counter. You'll be amazed at the discounts.
-When all else fails, don't forget to check online coupon websites to find promo codes.

Scramble For Dinner

For the last few months, JM and I have been in and out of town so much, that I haven't really had the time or inclination to shop and stock the fridge.  Which means two things: We ended up drinking a lot of tap water, and I found myself trying to scrape together dinners from whatever happened to be left in the fridge. I'm always up for a good culinary challenge, but there's only so much you can do with a couple shallots, frozen spinach and a chunk of goat cheese (for example). Happily, the most disparate elements can almost always be united with the help of one magical, delicious ingredient: the egg. I know I write a lot of posts about eggs, but that's because I write posts about my life, and I eat a lot of eggs in real life. And this is one eggy topic I haven't covered yet — the basic scramble. More forgiving than an omelet, faster than a fritatta, the scramble is the humble cousin of more complicated egg dishes. This is the sort of thing that anyone can cook — even people who can't cook — and have dinner on the table in ten minutes.  And the best part is, you can throw in the kitchen sink from whatever is left in your fridge, and come up with surprisingly lovely combinations. Obviously, this isn't the sort of dinner you make when you have company coming over (unless it's me coming over — I'll be psyched), but when it's just you and your roommate/husband/girlfriend/dog/Glee rerun, there's nothing better. As a bonus, this meal is free... or only costs about $2 per serving (depending on how you look at it).

Here are some random ingredients that taste great in a scramble:

Vegetables: Tomatoes, Onions, Shallots, Zucchini, Garlic, Bell Peppers, Spinach, Mushrooms, Leeks.
Meat: Sausage, Ham, Smoked Salmon, or Bacon.
Herbs: Parsley, Basil, Chives, Dill, Sage, Thyme, Oregano

Cheese: Feta, Cheddar, Queso Blanco, Swiss, Goat cheese, Blue Cheese.


1. Chop up your vegetable and meat ingredients, and saute them in olive oil in a skillet, over medium heat, until cooked through.
2. In the meantime, break eggs into a bowl (I usually factor 2-4 per person, depending on how hungry my eaters are). Add chopped herbs, salt, and pepper to taste.  Stir briskly to combine with a whisk (or a fork). Pour eggs directly into the skillet with the other ingredients.
3. Allow the eggs to set for a few seconds, then use a wooden spoon to pull the cooked eggs off the bottom of the pan, and allow the raw eggs to take their place. (Ergo, "scramble").
4. When eggs are cooked through, sprinkle on grated cheese, (and more herbs, if desired) and divide onto plates,  serving with toast and/or a green salad... if you happen to have them around.

Photo Credit: Bon Appetit

Power Play

Have you ever noticed how, wherever your wall outlets happen to be located, they are always in the wrong place? Like, on the end of the room where you would never put your TV. Or just a little too far down the wall to allow for you to vacuum the whole room.
Most notably, in almost every apartment I have lived in, the bedroom outlet seems to be located exactly behind where you would put a nightstand.  Which isn't so bad for plugging in a bedside lamp, but is a real pain in the posterior for plugging in anything else. Especially if you use your phone as an alarm clock (I also use mine as a calendar, watch, notebook, and flashlight), and want to have it close at hand in the morning - moving your nightstand to plug in each night just isn't an option.   Which is why I devised a clever (if I do say so myself) solution to this problem. I bought a simple extension cord with two outlets, and ran it from the outlet behind the nightstand. Using zip ties, I attached it to our bed frame, hiding the cord behind the nightstand (if you don't have something to hide the cord behind, you can use a staple gun to discreetly attach it to the wall along the floor). Now I have two plugs easily at hand, exactly where I want them for charging my phone and my Kindle.  I'll put in a plug for this current idea you can really get a charge out of.

Wow, that was corny.

It's A Sign

In case you were wondering what I was up to during that lengthy period of time in August when I was not posting on the blog regularly, here's the answer: projects. Oh, sure, I did I certain amount of reading, suntanning and swimming (with the occasional wedding thrown in for good measure), but for the most part, when my mom and I get together, we end up doing projects. It's probably a good thing that we don't live in the same town because JM and my dad would forget what we look like without sawdust in our hair and paint on our faces. And this summer, one of our projects was creating signage. My family's lake cottage is in an old self-managed association where most things have a lovable, decaying, well-used quality to them. This year, we decided to class the place up a bit by replacing some of the more decomposed wooden signage that had been around since the (first) Roosevelt administration, and had become, essentially, unreadable. I like old signs as much as the next guy, but here's a tip: When you can't read them anymore, it's time to throw in the towel. But why hire a sign-maker, when you can easily make your own professional(ish)-looking painted signs yourself? With simple materials you can easily find, you can make signs for whatever your heart desires- house names, street numbers, "keep out- no boys allowed" for your treehouse- the possibilities are endless. Here are the easy-peasy steps we took to make our fancy new signs. And may they happily point the way and rot until my great-great-grandchildren replace them.




What you will need:
A piece of wood, cut to size
A computer print-out of what you want the sign to say, sized to fit
A piece of graphite transfer paper
Acrylic paint and a small flat-sided paintbrush
Varnish and a disposable sponge paintbrush

What you do:
  Step 1: Using your computer, print out the lettering for the sign in the size and font that you like (you may have to print it in several pieces and tape together, as I did). Place a piece of graphite transfer paper, graphite down, on your wooden board. Place the print-out on top, aligning how you like, and attaching it with tape to secure.

Step 2: Carefully trace the lettering on the print-out with a sharp pencil, pressing firmly. In case the photo at left has you perplexed, I do not have teeny-tiny hands- that is just an abnormally large pencil. For your purposes, any size pencil will do. Even a pen would probably be fine, come to think of it.

Step 3: Remove the print-out and graphite paper. I could have omitted this photo, and almost did, because it doesn't really illustrate anything and reveals that I messed up the placement of my graphite paper, and didn't transfer the top half of the word "courts". But I didn't because I wanted to show that everyone makes mistakes when doing projects, and it's no big thang- just fill in the tops of the letters freehand, and get on with it.Or, just place your graphite correctly in the first place.

Step 4: Using a thin paintbrush and your acrylic paint, carefully fill in over the lettering. The paint will cover the graphite. If you smudge, you will be able to wipe up the paint as long as it is still wet, so keep a rag at hand. Also, imperfections are part of the charm of homemade signs, so relax.

Step 5: Allow paint to dry completely. Cover entire piece of wood with varnish, and allow to dry until set. Hang or place your masterpiece and revel in your handiwork.

Let's Get This Straight

Sewing is one of the housewifey things that it seems like the domestically challenged have the hardest time wrapping their heads around. I'm not just talking about sewing on a button, or fixing a saggy hem (although those pose their own challenges to some folks), but actually taking fabric and making something out of it. The idea of it almost seems quaint, in an era when you can get a cute outfit at H&M or a full set of patio cushions from Ikea for less than the fabric it would cost to make them. Of course, they (both) will start to fall apart the first time you sit down, but still.
However, because my parents took a sort of Laura Ingalls Wilder approach to child-rearing, I actually like to sew. When I was an awkward preteen, my mom enrolled me in a sewing class which culminated in my being forced to model a pair of culottes of my own creation in a "fashion" show at the county fair. While it was among the most mortifying experiences in a lifetime full of mortifying experiences, the sewing know-how seemed to stick. While I don't have much of a desire to attempt to create my own skorts or palazzo pants these days, I still take a certain pride in my ability to make my own curtains, pillows, tablecloths, and baby quilts that don't cost a fortune, and have that handmade-with-love vibe to them.
All of this is has been a very long-winded (and cathartic) intro to the topic of one very simple sewing trick that might be the solution to a problem vexing the sewing-phobes among you- how to cut fabric straight. It's one my lanky, bespectacled (in retrospect, creepy) bachelor of a sewing teacher imparted to me, and one that has come in handy many times over the years. And does it work? You bet your culottes.

How to Cut Fabric Perfectly Straight

 Step 1: Cut a slit in the fabric about where you would like to cut the straight line. Pick at one edge of the fabric until a string comes loose that you can grab on to.

 Step 2. Yank on the string, causing a pull that runs the width of the fabric. Pull the thread until it breaks, or comes completely free of the fabric. The run you have made in the fabric will leave a perfect line in the weave of the fabric.

Step 3: Using your sharpest scissors, cut following along the line that the string left. Voila- a perfectly straight cut! Now, whatever your sewing-related traumas may be, wonky edges won't be among them.









top photo credit: blog.craftzine.com