The Fabulizer

When I packed up and moved into my college Freshman dorm room in the fall of 1999, I arrived armed with the essentials- a green original iMac, phone cards to call home, and a hugely padded black lace bra that my roommates immediately dubbed "The Fabulizer." I have, in my life, been blessed with many gifts (namely: naturally blond hair I don't have to color, a fairly sunny disposition, and a better-than-average ability to solve crossword puzzles), but I was not bestowed with what you might call "an ample bosom." Hence, The Fabulizer, which immediately added at least three cup sizes to anyone (to prove this, I once tacked it up on the flat wall, and, voila, "Wally Parton").  However,  while it was, well, fabulous, The Fabulizer had several blatant drawbacks. The black lace and thick straps hardly made for an inconspicuous combo, so it made it's presence known by showing though or sticking out of almost any outfit (luckily it was the late 90s and underwear-as-outerwear was in). To totally hide this monster of a bra, in fact, an outfit would have to be so modest as to be completely beside the point.  Also, because I didn't wear it at all times, it was unlikely I fooled anyone into thinking a rack like that had just sprouted overnight. Still, I managed to get quite a bit of wear out of that sucker over the course of the next four extremely educational and enriching years, until I finally outgrew it (emotionally, not physically, sadly).
In my adult life, which could frequently use a little fabulizing, I have often reminisced about the enhancing properties of that brassiere, and wished I had something with similar capabilities which would fit my lifestyle now. It seemed an impossible dream until, like a miracle, I found it: The Fabulizer 2.0.
The Plunge Multi-way Bra with Gel-Curve, $37.50 from Victoria's Secret is the Fabulizer for the new millennium (give or take 10 years). Seriously. I bought it in nude to wear under a dress to a wedding last September, and I have worn it almost every day since (sorry to disappoint you, People I Have Met Since September, but my cleavage isn't the real deal). This bra is actually comfortable, smooth enough to wear under anything without showing, and, unlike any other strapless bra I have ever owned, it stays up on it's own. And the patented Gel-Curve stuff looks and feels way more like real boob than the mattress foam that was stuffed into the original Fabulizer (not that I intend to test that by getting groped).
So, if you happen to be similarly mosquito-bitten, or just want to enhance your natural assets, I suggest you head to Vicky's and try this lovely thing on immediately. And if you spend more than $100 (by buying this bra in every color), get free shipping through July13 using the promo code: SHIPVS10. Fabulous.